My True Personality Type (hint: it isn't INFP)
In June 2024, I was asked to "type" myself according to three well-known personality tests and create a blog, describing my results. One of the tests I chose was the "16 Personality Types" based on the Myers Briggs Personality Test. I considered this assessment to be pivotal to the healing project I had embarked on in 2020 (the year that finally gave me a break from work and my impending nervous breakdown). Never before had I had a microscope in my heart to see what was REALLY going on without shame attached to it. Never before had I tended to my own desires and needs only to discover that I really didn't enjoy human company as much as I thought and got SO MUCH out of the art I was developing. Never before. From what I could garner from my test results and introspection, I was the living, breathing prototype of the INFP and absolutely relishing in it! Never before was a key phrase that would mean something in 2025 when I took the test again, with a clear mind, and then confirmed the results with my own analysis. What was this key? One that tarnishes, often gets stucks in the lock, and perplexingly, gets lost too often. Perhaps a key we never owned or wished to own.
Shadow work. That thing that feels selfish, sinful, and impossible given our social obligations. However, when would I ever get an opportunity like I did in 2020? When will the world ever "shut down" again and pedal itself back up slowly? Slowly enough for me to bask in my honest thoughts, emotions, desires, whims, and whatever else came up. From 2020-2024, my epiphanies, thoughts, and creative skills ebbed and flowed like a rollercoaster; my true artist personality emerged and people saw the elusive girl on the outside for once. However, none of this fulfilled me; it only gave me the brand of ego that they all work with - for once I was in the driver's seat of my relationships, learning I was much more without them than with them. Teetering from seeing their flaws with forgiveness to seeing them as manifestations of what people weren't willing to face, admit and heal from. This applied more to some people than to others, depending on how far I thought they were on the journey. I realize now that those who seemed to be the most healed and enlightened needed the most work.
That last sentence would become transparent in March 2024 when something I thought would be devastating turned out to be a blessing in disguise. In a nutshell, the one chakra I had neglected over the course of my energy healing was the third eye. After all, it was this chakra that led me to my spiritual illness in the first place, that was uncovering all of these unpleasant insights that were making me sick. It was the third eye that brought me back to my cousin, Tina when I needed her the most. However, it was the third eye that was in need of the most help. It was the third eye that helped me realize that Tina was "cutting herself off" from me again, though this time more cleverly and carefully. She had planned to rely on Facebook to continue our connection and then resume in person it if she ever felt like having me close to her again. She was wrong this time.
In summary, I inquired about the distance, verified it, and noticed that my third eye stopped twitching (as it had been for two weeks) and something even more profound happened. My throat felt a lump in it. A lump that scared me at first but which I quickly realized was the official replanting of my throat chakra, which first "tickled" my senses in 2022, identified by a subtle cool breeze, but this time was UNMISTAKABLE. This was a result of an great act of courage - I had addressed my INFJ cousin, a survivor of abuse (but with a habit of displacing accountability) and could live with the outcome. It was heartbreaking (noted by heart palpitations that followed) but necessary. I now KNOW that my greatest "crime" was belonging to the same family as she, and that would never change. She's also guarding her relationship with her husband, a sufferer of manic depression, from any trigger that she knows her companions wouldn't be responsible for, but would be blamed for. We had been down similar roads twice within the last thirty years, and I decided to permanently close their entrances.
Fast forward from March 2024 to now. My renewed throat chakra allowed me to hear my insights clearer and deeper than I ever have. I realized I still had issues with grief, attachment, anger, trust, etc. and only I had could finish the journey in healing those matters. Learning thought control was the climax of my healing, and in January 2025, I took the 16 Personalities test with a much more lucid mind.
The result? Confirmed by analysis? INFJ - the mystic, the one with insights since birth that she can't explain, the one who always doubted that she was accurate and lovable.
My project now? Learning to love and trust her. That's all. 💞
A note about my little bird at the top: Having a Korean crow tit as my laptop screensaver got me through the 2016-2017 school year when I was at the peak of my soul frustration. God is amazing. 💫
Comments
Post a Comment